Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Miracles in Chaos

Life here at the ashram is rhythmic and chaotic. It is magical and mundane. There are visitors and renunciates here with stories of miracles and blessings. There are people here with backpacks just passing through. Each person along his path sucked into the mystery that is Amritapuri.


I eavesdrop on conversations in the gardens, at mealtimes, and on the beach. Amma works on you, one woman whispers to another. She teaches you those lessons you have not yet learned. You learn to face those things you can't or won't. She will challenge you. Amma saved my life, I heard another woman say.


I came here intending to stay 3 months, a man in my seva group tells me. That was 16 years ago. Why did you stay? I asked. Because Amma told me to, he said. Why did you come here? I asked a young girl from Paris as we were sitting down to dinner. Because of all the stories, she said. I just wanted to feel that kind of energy--the first time I met Amma in Paris I fell to my knees and wept so I knew I needed to come here.

Have I been challenged in the week or so I've been here? Have I felt the energy? Have I experienced any miracles?



Each day I practice yoga as the sun rises over the backwaters. Each evening I sit on the beach and watch the sunset over the Arabian Sea. I have no where to be but here. I have nothing to do but write and be with myself. The challenge is wrapping my mind around the fact that I have no where to be but here, that I have nothing to do but write and be with myself.

The energy I feel is the rush of stress pouring out of my body and mind. I had no idea how uptight and burnt out I was until I suddenly wasn't.

The miracle is that I'm here. The miracle is that everything I prayed for, that everything I put intention into over the past 2 years has manifested. I believe that we co-create our lives. I believe that we can tap into the infinite and make anything possible. I know because I've done it so many times before. (That string of miracles that's gotten me here). Keeping that equilibrium of always moving toward the resolve while releasing it. The difference this time is that I was so aware of it as it was happening.



Being able to manifest something so specific in an otherwise seemingly chaotic whirl of existence is a miracle, and to string together those miracles found in the chaos to create meaning is also itself a miracle. Or as Carl Sagan used to say, "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

From ashram talk to cosmology all in a single post.

What miracles have manifested in your life? When you reflect on where you've been, can you see the string of miracles?

10 comments:

  1. How beautiful! I'm glad that you have arrived safely and that your journey is underway.

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  2. Reading this while closing down. Thankful for the miracle of you blogging your adventures.

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  3. When I left the US it felt like I was recovering from PTSD - we don't realize how many every day stresses are woven into our culture here in California. Glad to hear you're detoxing.

    Your post reminds me of this: https://youtu.be/yVkdfJ9PkRQ
    From order to chaos to order to chaos - it's the fabric of the universe!

    Hugs!

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    1. I know!!! There is definitely a huge difference than just leaving for a bit and coming back. I knew I was stressed out, but I was a little shocked to realize how much!

      Thank you :) And thanks for the link!

      Hugs to you too!

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  4. How wonderful that you are there. Are you going to become a student of Amma? I'm nearly 70 and have long seen the string of miracles in my life. I'm totally excited about this new adventure you have manifested and love being witness to your seekings.

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    1. I was curious about what living at an ashram would be like (and specifically this one because several people recommended I start my journey here), but I'm not interested in becoming a student of hers. I respect what she does and stands for, but I'm already on a solid path that works for me. I have had many teachers, and they appear in many, many forms. I'm not really into "having a guru." It works for some folks, but not for me :)

      Thank you for reading :)

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  5. Remember to breath while there. I was realizing just the other day while sitting on the beach in the sun...doing nothing...but sitting in the sun...Simple and yet so hard to remember sometimes.

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    1. Of course :) It's not hard to remember to breath here :)

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