Three years ago or so I went to my first hypnotherapy session where I was told to close my eyes and envision a staircase either going up or down. And where did this staircase lead? My staircase appeared to be translucent, glassy, crystal. It wasn't until I began to ascend that I realized it was made of water. Each step I took I could see the ripples it made though it was solid under my feet. When I reached the top, nothing came into full focus, everything appeared to be shifting. As my eyes moved across my surroundings nothing remained, and each time I let my eyes linger, everything became hazy like a dream just before you fully awake and forget.
II.Erica sat on the edge of my bed and handed me her phone. "I'm ready," she said. With only 15 minutes until her shuttle came to whisk her off to Bangkok, she began to tell her story, her mission as a mermaid, a water fairy. The message had come to her in a cave in India where she was introduced to a magical stone. When she touched it the only thing she could hear was a voice that told her, "I am the water that flows through all things." And in that moment, time stopped and she knew.
III.Chiang Mai has me bound to its surreal and ever shifting magic. Grounded here in this etheric world where uncertainty is the norm and where if you can't let go and surrender to the constant flux of life, you'll only suffer. The present moment is the only place to exist. Each time I try to step one foot into the future, something shifts and nothing is there. It creates discomfort, of course, but in time, as I've been reminded again and again--if you have a question, just sit in the middle of it until you're living the answer.
And so I've sat. And the answer I've gotten is that when something needs to change, I'll know. I'll know when it's time to move on, I'll know when to make important decisions. I'll simply know. In other words, I need to trust my intuition and the process, the flow now more than ever.
But isn't that what's gotten me here? Yes, of course it is. But the trick is to keep trusting now that I've gotten here. Divine timing is everything.
I walk through these small lanes linking one place to another letting the pre-monsoon heat seep into my skin. And much like my visions in hypnotherapy, everything is becoming hazy like a dream just before you fully wake and forget. School is out for the next couple months, and all I have is time again. Time to sit in this present moment.
And in these present moments I find myself re-reading the Bhagavad Gita, watching a variety of fascinating documentaries and interviews on Gaia, teaching yoga to my friends on Saturday mornings, seeking out new yoga classes and crystal shops, and cafes where I can spend the day reading and writing.
And in the present moment there is no anxiety, there is no worry, there is no overthinking, there is only the stillness that settles into peace. And peace has no defined edges. It has no beginning, it has no end. Like the water that flows through all things, it just is.