I.
As I desperately clung to the boulder for my life--steep drop offs on either side of me, blood running down my leg, tears stinging my eyes--I became paralyzed with fear. My friend glanced back in my direction. "Don't be afraid," she said. "You're not going to die. You have so much more to accomplish in life." This was not a comforting thought. When I asked her to take me to the viewpoint that over looked a remote part of the island, I was not expecting such an extreme experience. But these are the moments that change us forever. They are the moments that ultimately define everything on the other side of them.
II.
It was after we crossed the rickety bridge, walked through a cluster of abandoned, dilapidated bungalows, and ducked through a rip in a barbed wire fence, that I was sure we were on the right track. We wandered aimlessly through a grove of fallen coconuts and dead palm fronds until we saw the path that squeezed between two half-standing, graffitied structures. Roots tangled at our feet as we made our way down the ridge to the beach to meet our friends--the most tucked away, hidden beach I've yet to find on this small island. Waves crashed against boulders, the sun warmed our bodies, my heart exploded in awe that places like this still exist in the world.
A week later I went back to the hidden beach cove. This time the water was glassy and smooth and quiet. A fisherman sat perched on the ledge of one of the abandoned bungalows balanced precariously on stilts over looking the ridge, his fish spread over the rocks, drying in the sun. What a life. My friend and I waded out into the water as far as we could go. When I turned around, the most surreal, tropical scene popped into focus--the beach, the coconut palms, the abandoned huts, the fisherman on the ridge. Years ago, in another era of my life, I had written on a scrap of paper how I'd one day live on a tropical island and write books. Words are magic spells. Use them wisely.
III.
At the edge of the entrance to the barren, dirt road, the desert like landscape stretched around us in all directions. The jungle, the ocean, the lushness of the tropics fell away. I didn't know where I was anymore. We cut through a property of makeshift shacks and low voices hidden behind walls. Drug dealers, my friend whispered. Information probably better left unsaid when traipsing through unknown, desolate land.
The path gave way and spread over rocks full of giant tide pool like crevices. I'd never seen anything like it. We're at the top of a waterfall, she said and pointed into the distance where boulders gave way and disappeared over the horizon. A chill ran up my spine despite the heat. I glanced up at the cloudless sky. Threat of a downpour would mean certain danger, I was sure, but not today. With no clouds or shade of any kind, the only escape from the scorching sun was to immerse ourselves into the pools of water. Tiny fish nipped at my skin. An eerie silence filled the space between our words. Water, Sun, Rock, Dry Heat. All the elements fell on me, heavy and fierce.
IV.
We were on the mountain, somewhere in the jungle, halfway between Coral Bay and Bottle Beach when the thunder clapped so hard I swear the earth shook under us. It had been rumbling in the distance since the moment we hit the trail. We all picked up pace. The last thing we needed was to be caught in a jungle downpour full of muddy trails and slick rocks. The sky remained ominous, the air muggy, but the rain never fell. Eventually, the trail dumped us onto the beach--clear, blue sky, and cool stormy water. One scene gave way to the next like an artist painting a landscape of emotion.
V.
I might have turned back had I not already made it so far, had I not been so determined to make it to the top. Ukulele strapped to my back, bright sun in my face, I gripped the boulder and pulled. My exposed skin scraped against the rough surface. At the top, I crawled along the rocks until I reached the cliff edge where the fear dropped away and the world expanded in shades of blues and greens--sky, jungle, ocean, remote and terrifyingly beautiful.
VI.
Throughout April, old and new friends filtered through Koh Phangan whisking me away on adventures, lively dinners, and nights out. Though life has slowed and stillness settles over me again and I fall into a steady rhythm, the lingering energy remains. This life is an exploration after all, and to fully experience the world around me, I need to keep my sense of wonder alive. I continue to explore through writing and daily practices, through reading and learning. I chase dark sky and full moons. I dig my feet into the sand, listen to jungle sounds, and feel earth energy move through me. I weave stories from experiential moments of wonder.
How do you fully experience the world around you? How do you keep your sense of wonder alive?
