As we move into the shortest days and longest nights, I move further with in, locking myself away with my books and writing and unfurling imagination. Digging into the depths, peeling away layers of my own psyche. As a child born in late October, I am prone to fall in love with esoteric mysteries, hidden magic, and getting lost in the labyrinths of my mind or otherwise. I have an insatiable desire to penetrate the surface of all people and places and things, to hear their stories--the ones they tell and the ones they hide between the lines, in those moments of deep breaths and pauses and sighs.
The morning of my solar return I awake early and take off eastward, terra incognita. I ride through rolling landscapes as the city fades behind me and a surreal quality descends and encompasses everything, lifting me from the liminal space I inhabit to somewhere altogether otherworldly and unreal. Rivers run through teak coffee houses, hidden waterfalls cascade behind abandoned hostels full of narrow hallways and staircases and giant blue cushions, and a massive treehouse towers over a cliffside. It's getting late, but I stop and turn around anyway.
I'm the only motorbike on the road, the only bike parked at the base of the never ending upward staircase. A chill cuts through the air, and I zip my thick jacket and wrap my giant, heavy scarf around me. I climb the steep, narrow stairs until it levels onto a canopy walkway connecting the various platforms suspended in mid-air. Mountains stretch over the vast landscape, and beyond them the sun settles low, creating a soft orange glow across the sky. Birthday messages come through as well as a perfectly timed phone call. Planets and stars appear in the dark sky. Night takes over, and it's time move on.
Back at home, I empty the contents of my bag onto the bed. I pull out a notebook full of notes from my interview with an astronomer, a book of Japanese folktales, Sanskrit letter and grammar charts, and budget sheets with a list of books I'm requesting for next semester workshops. A glimpse into how I spend my time these days. The things that trip over each other in my head. I fall back onto the soft, white comforter and sleep for 10 hours straight.
I blink, and it's already November. I finish the Borges book I started last month, and think about all the clever ways stories have and haven't been told. I think about how much of an impression he's made on me, my life, my perceptions--which is a rather odd realization to have considering I don't ever recall reading him before now. And I can clearly see his influence seeping through the stories of Ted Chiang and Haruki Murakami. Reading mind-bending literature can unlock new neural pathways as readily as meditation practices and breathwork and studying ancient philosophies and languages. It can rip away veils and reveal more layers to dig through.
What stories do you discover when you penetrate the layers of your mind and the world around you?
Hello Sarah. Now is becoming a great time to be in CM area as the coolness sweeps in. We left CM in the early summer and relocated to Phuket for the time being. One could also refer to Phuket as: Little Russia. It is most definitely different here and more expensive than CM. I would think that there are more weed shops in CM than here and it seems like there are more cannabis shops here than massage shops which there are many. Aren't we both Libras? Happy late birthday to you! I am now 61 which causes me to quietly break out into hysterical laughter whenever I think of my age. The ocean always gets me...just sitting there a few meters in front of the raging sea. It is almost as if it is angry and I don't blame it. It is my opinion that much of that seething, fizzling, richness of the sea rushing up against our ankles from a time before, has weakened, but maybe just here, I don't know. I can only speculate. Now the sea is calming and is much more like the Gulf. However, the micro plastic material is washing ashore as well as garbage! There is also light pollution! A great place to view the sunset with a grassy cliff area high up overlooking the sea with many people around sunset and then I was so excited to see that place again at night during a full moon and we returned at darkness and it was all lit up and there are many places on the beach where it is all lit up like a football stadium almost! It is not a comfortable and welcoming environment and what a waste of energy! However, if you saw this spot at sunset, you would be amazed at how many people are spread out on the grassy knoll of the cliff so you could imagine this place when there is a full moon...if it was dark. I didn't feel welcome when it was dark with those bright lights high overhead and neither did anybody else. So why don't these people in charge of lighting everything up uncover nature at dark while unlocking their minds which would allow them to discover the intensity of sitting there in the darkness being able to see the Ocean lit up by the moon and the sky and everything in it! It would be a massive connection and we are more interested in a wine connection than that kind. They've created obstacles to this connection. I am always meaning to read your post and comment and time goes by so fast! Well, take care Sarah and talk to you later.
ReplyDeleteHi Mike! Thanks for the update! How is your family liking Phuket? Do your kids like living near the beach?!
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm not a Libra. The sun entered Scorpio the day I was born so I'm within the first degree, but still very much considered Scorpio.
I know nothing about the cannabis shops or culture in Thailand (or anywhere). Not my world--never has been, never will be. But to each his own.
Light pollution is the worst! You literally have to go out into the middle of nowhere to get away from it. Possible, but probably not on a place like Phuket--too populated and developed. There are designated "dark areas" in the world, specifically for work in astronomy so if you want to see dark sky, you need to find those places. Or take a boat out to sea away from the shore. A physicist named Alan Lightman did just that and had the most surreal, mystical experience of his life. He said that it completely changed the way he saw and thought about the world. He wrote a book about it called Searching for Stars on an Island in Maine.
Enjoy your time on Phuket!
Ravishing writing! Thank you thank you thank you . Melissa 🙏 x
ReplyDeleteThank you 🙏 And you're welcome 😊✨
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