"All phenomena are like a dream,
An illusion, a bubble and a shadow,
Like dew and lightning,
Thus you should meditate upon them."
--Diamond Sutra
January: Kaleidoscope. There is a fine line between untangling and unraveling, letting go and falling apart, releasing and losing grip. Life untangled in India as all the worry and stress accumulated in 2024 melted away, but then back in Chiang Mai, life began to unravel. A free fall of unfathomable freedom and loss. A kaleidoscope of grief and beauty.
February: Recalibrate. What would happen if I slowed down or simply stopped everything, and reevaluated every aspect of life? By the end of the month, I was regaining confidence in my writing, swimming 1 kilometer everyday, and allowing all else to either fall in place or fall away.
March: Miracle. I returned to Bali for the first time in five years and surrendered completely at the base of Mount Agung, allowing the island's fierce, raw energy to wash over me in wave after wave. And in its wake, ripples of lightness. I signed with a new literary agent and took off to the far eastern islands of northern Raja Ampat to celebrate and clear the way for more miracles.
April: Routine. Write, swim, read, repeat.
May: Betrayal. The job I once loved and a coworker I once trusted became my worst nightmare. In the throes of shock, confusion, and saddness, I came to understand that these projections have nothing to do with me. Allow sleepless nights to fuel creative power.
June: Recover. Write, breath, and swim through the pain. Strengthen. Heal. Learn to shine through the dark clouds.
July: Patience. Between maddening anxiety and holding it together through another term, I packed up my apartment, sent the final draft of my novel to my agent, and waited. When the building pressure of wanting everything to be different creates a rip in the space-time continuum, a portal opens.
August: Endings. I lose my job, the novel I'd spent over a decade writing goes on submission, and I take a whirlwind trip to the US because I know I will not return for a long time. I move out of the city and into a spacious apartment pressed against the mountains and collapse in gratitude that nothing will be the same.
September: Beginnings. When ten thousand doors of possibility swing wide open, I walk through the ones that lead to inspiration and starlight, the ones that lead to brighter directions from here.
October: Freedom. I fling myself back into the world of perpetual travel and wander across Sulawesi chasing alien stories, island dreams, and snorkeling adventures. And in this liminal space of freedom, my new five year Thai visa is approved and my first creative nonfiction essay is accepted for publication.
November: Transformation. After hopping across the remote Indonesian islands of Misool, I head back to Thailand to focus on my health and well-being, take in the cool mountain autumn air, and allow all the peace and creativity and beauty to flow.
December: Process. What would happen if I once again allowed myself to sink into the depths of messy creation? I've no distractions, nothing to do but channel stories and write. And so, with the gifts of this past year, I will carry them over into the next year and the next and the next. I will live fully. I will process. I will create.
What a wild year. A spectrum of experiences and emotion. A lot of unexpected drama that blindsided me, but a lot more peace & fulfillment on the other side.
What gifts did 2025 provide for you (in all its mysterious ways)? What pivotal moments or emotional imprints stood out to you, that changed you in profound or subtle ways?
