Miracles in Chaos

Life here at the ashram is rhythmic and chaotic. It is magical and mundane. There are visitors and renunciates here with stories of miracles and blessings. There are people here with backpacks just passing through. Each person along his path sucked into the mystery that is Amritapuri.

I eavesdrop on conversations in the gardens, at mealtimes, and on the beach. Amma works on you, one woman whispers to another. She teaches you those lessons you have not yet learned. You learn to face those things you can't or won't. She will challenge you. Amma saved my life, I heard another woman say.

I came here intending to stay 3 months, a man in my seva group tells me. That was 16 years ago. Why did you stay? I asked. Because Amma told me to, he said. Why did you come here? I asked a young girl from Paris as we were sitting down to dinner. Because of all the stories, she said. I just wanted to feel that kind of energy--the first time I met Amma in Paris I fell to my knees and wept so I knew I needed to come here.

Have I been challenged in the week or so I've been here? Have I felt the energy? Have I experienced any miracles?

Each day I practice yoga as the sun rises over the backwaters. Each evening I sit on the beach and watch the sunset over the Arabian Sea. I have no where to be but here. I have nothing to do but write and be with myself. The challenge is wrapping my mind around the fact that I have no where to be but here, that I have nothing to do but write and be with myself.

The energy I feel is the rush of stress pouring out of my body and mind. I had no idea how uptight and burnt out I was until I suddenly wasn't.

The miracle is that I'm here. The miracle is that everything I prayed for, that everything I put intention into over the past 2 years has manifested. I believe that we co-create our lives. I believe that we can tap into the infinite and make anything possible. I know because I've done it so many times before. (That string of miracles that's gotten me here). Keeping that equilibrium of always moving toward the resolve while releasing it. The difference this time is that I was so aware of it as it was happening.

Being able to manifest something so specific in an otherwise seemingly chaotic whirl of existence is a miracle, and to string together those miracles found in the chaos to create meaning is also itself a miracle. Or as Carl Sagan once said, "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

From ashram talk to cosmology all in a single post.

What miracles have manifested in your life? When you reflect on where you've been, can you see the string of miracles?