Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Between Earth and Sky

In my last few days here at Amritapuri, I've spent a good chunk of time dwelling on what that Tarot reader told me.

His tarot deck was quite weathered with use and in French which to me made it all that more authentic. He could have told me anything, and I would have believed it as long as it came from a weathered deck and someone with a thick French accent. 

I'm dwelling on the fact he told me that I cannot leave without an Amma mantra. He said it with such fervor it frightened me. You must! He had said. He said it would ground me, and I must be grounded in order to succeed in my creative endeavors. If it weren't for gravity, you'd just float away, he had said and twirled this pointer finger into the air. He told me I needed to ground in order to channel the massive amounts of creative energy swirling inside of me--all bound up and stuck at my 2nd chakra. And according to him, the only way he saw fit for me to ground and unblock my chakra was to request a mantra from Amma during darshan.

I attempted.

I hadn't gotten a blessing from her since my first visit to her ashram in San Ramon, California over the summer. I had forgotten how incredibly hectic the whole process is. When it's finally your turn to get embraced by this larger than life woman, you're literally fighting against people shoving letters, pictures, and cell phones in her face, talking to her non-stop. She's constantly surrounded by people and chaos, and you're just shoved into the middle of it. I get the feeling that if you can speak her native language, Malayalam, she can be quite friendly and chatty.

After my embrace, I looked at her and clearly said, Amma mantra, please. At that exact moment, a man behind me shoved something in her face, and a big hand grabbed my shoulder and yanked me back from her. I started to walk off the stage when another hand grabbed my arm and a voice whispered, you can sit over here, don't be alarmed. Alarmed? What's going on? I asked. She does this sometimes, the woman told me. Amma had abruptly gotten up and left the stage, and everyone was treating it like a strange and mystical experience. My theory? Bathroom break. They weren't letting anyone off the stage until she returned so I was stuck. Mantra-less and stuck and at that point, really really hungry.

She did return a few moments later, but by then I had time to start dwelling on the fact this tarot reader told me I must! and I had failed at that thing that I must!

The next day at her talk on the beach she focused on how all spiritual paths and religions are accepted here at Amritapuri, and that is why no one is required to participate in the ongoing schedule of rituals and practices that take place here--only participate if it resonates with you.

The truth is I don't need an Amma mantra. I'm not a devotee. I already have a spiritual path and practice full of powerful tools that has worked for me in incredible, miraculous ways for many, many years (perhaps lifetimes). It's a matter of re-focusing it now that I'm out in the world roaming around and exploring. I think the tarot guy was spot on and gave me a lot to think about, but I'm going with my intuition on how to proceed from here.

How do you ground yourself when your floating along in life somewhere between earth and sky? Tell me about a time you chose your intuition over blind faith. How did it turn out for you?

Signing off from Amritapuri, Kerala. Kerala means Land of the Coconut Palms, by the way. And indeed it is! Tomorrow night I will be in a whole new town, in a whole new state, in a whole new world.

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