I open my eyes.
I'm somewhere in the jungle of Koh Phangan next to a bonfire staring up at the stars popping out of the black sky, soft conversations around me. I'm not here so much on a vacation as I'm scoping out my next Thai home (whenever that may be). I had fully intended to visit another island, but this one lured me back into its jungle greens and ocean blues. It lured me back, gripped me tight, and enveloped me. I use to fight these sorts of things. Not anymore. All there is left to do is surrender and sink into it until I become indistinguishable from it.
Blissed out in the sun for hours on this Southeast Asian beach reading Dispatches, trying not to look ironic. Coconut palms, banana trees, thick, twisted vines--motorbike adventures into the jungle to find secluded beach hideaways. Monsoon downpour, glistening green, jungle mist. I pull over and listen. The island, like most places, has a way of speaking if you listen carefully enough.
I find quaint coastal fishing villages with beauty so chilling I can't shake for days, I don't want to shake, ever. Pockets of high vibe beach communities only accessible by boat. Labyrinth fields and crystal workshops. Yogi villages and hidden jungle cafes. Stretches of trashed beaches that break my heart. I explore as much as I can in my short visit. It's been a year since I was last here, a year since I sat on Haad Tien watching my missed boat disappear around the rocky shoreline, wondering then if maybe I wasn't meant to leave.
When I open my eyes again, I'm home, back in Chiang Mai. The rains have stopped and a chill hangs in the air. I trade in my bikini and sundresses for knee length skirts and shirts with sleeves. I seamlessly slip back into my life here--from hammocks and sunset meditations to classrooms and busy schedules. My ability to slip from one life into another, unnoticeable like I've always belonged, still amazes me.
The way I moved around the US never looking or sounding like I came from anywhere but where I was. The way everyone assumed I grew up in Missoula...Santa Cruz...Santa Fe. The way I got discounts at all the yoga classes I attended on Maui because they thought I was a local. The way the bartender let me and my friends into the employee pub in Denali National Park because he was sure we were living and working there. The way I've moved through the world, a clear liquid shaped and filled by place.
I'm not out to teach or preach or make waves in the world, but to move freely through it and observe, to tell my stories as I see them. And then if others find the light in what I have to say and it inspires them and changes them for the better, I will have made my mark in the world.
"Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light." How are you leaving more light in the world?
I'm somewhere in the jungle of Koh Phangan next to a bonfire staring up at the stars popping out of the black sky, soft conversations around me. I'm not here so much on a vacation as I'm scoping out my next Thai home (whenever that may be). I had fully intended to visit another island, but this one lured me back into its jungle greens and ocean blues. It lured me back, gripped me tight, and enveloped me. I use to fight these sorts of things. Not anymore. All there is left to do is surrender and sink into it until I become indistinguishable from it.
Blissed out in the sun for hours on this Southeast Asian beach reading Dispatches, trying not to look ironic. Coconut palms, banana trees, thick, twisted vines--motorbike adventures into the jungle to find secluded beach hideaways. Monsoon downpour, glistening green, jungle mist. I pull over and listen. The island, like most places, has a way of speaking if you listen carefully enough.
When I open my eyes again, I'm home, back in Chiang Mai. The rains have stopped and a chill hangs in the air. I trade in my bikini and sundresses for knee length skirts and shirts with sleeves. I seamlessly slip back into my life here--from hammocks and sunset meditations to classrooms and busy schedules. My ability to slip from one life into another, unnoticeable like I've always belonged, still amazes me.
The way I moved around the US never looking or sounding like I came from anywhere but where I was. The way everyone assumed I grew up in Missoula...Santa Cruz...Santa Fe. The way I got discounts at all the yoga classes I attended on Maui because they thought I was a local. The way the bartender let me and my friends into the employee pub in Denali National Park because he was sure we were living and working there. The way I've moved through the world, a clear liquid shaped and filled by place.
I'm not out to teach or preach or make waves in the world, but to move freely through it and observe, to tell my stories as I see them. And then if others find the light in what I have to say and it inspires them and changes them for the better, I will have made my mark in the world.
"Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light." How are you leaving more light in the world?
Sarah....I met you in koh phanghan more than a year ago.....since then been on the farm in Kansas but now koh phanghan has drawn me back as well ....have a 6 mo multiple entry visa and will be on the island for 3 weeks starting in the end of November ....something about that place ...still working on my thai studies....using different books but the one called 'learn to read thai in 10 days' is good and also the glossika thai method is very good .....unfortunately they are restructering the entire glossika system and the older version is now longer being sold ....maybe something similar will replace it ....also I should mention the DK bookstore in chiang is mai is excellent but you probably have already discovered it ....you probably also probably know as well of the website called 'women learning thai' ....very good and the source of many other links ...you can google it for the exact url.....also for tone study you can google ' slice of thai voice viewer' really works well and not something you would use daily but for a starter makes sure you are on the right track .....
ReplyDeleteI remember meeting you! I actually stayed at that same guesthouse in Thong Sala the night before I left again! They completely remodeled it--totally different place, not quite as cozy.
DeleteKoh Phangan is magical! Something about it keeps drawing me back. I totally wanted to visit another island on my break. I was thinking Koh Chang or Koh Lanta, but when it came time to decide, Koh Phangan lured me back. SO glad it did!
What kind of visa did you get? Is 6 months a new option for tourist visa? My work visa expires in March. Not sure my plan from there, but if I decide to stay in Thailand, I'll need to figure out my visa options.
I've been living here for over a year now, and I've learned zero Thai, ha! I know important phrases, but I hardly have time to take care of myself let alone actually learn such a complicated language!
Thanks for commenting! Take Care!
Another Amazing Post!!! You inspire me as next year may be my time to retire (early!) and move to Las Cruces, New Mexico. I must not fear change!!! =) <3
ReplyDeleteThank you :D And I LOVE New Mexico! My mom lives in Santa Fe so I've been there bunches, but I've not been as far south as Las Cruces though.
DeleteGetting on the other side of fear is the biggest challenge. If it's something you really want, trust that everything will fall into place once you get there :)