Monday, September 29, 2025

The Turning of Autumn: A Welcoming

1. Nights become longer than days, and the late summer rains bleed into autumn keeping the air damp and sticky. When the rain stops and clouds clear, somehow the stars feel closer. My new apartment presses against the mountain range to the west keeping it cool and breezy, blowing away the day's humidity. Autumn has always been my favorite time of year--my birthday, Halloween, Samhain. The season of harvest, the season of change. The season to cast spells and burn sigils. The season to conjure magic and experience its unfolding. 


2. The letter arrived at the tail end of August while I away. I felt it coming. The writing had been on the wall all year. My job at the University here in Thailand for the past 3.5 years finally came to an end. What started as a dream job that I designed from scratch with little to no guidance degraded over the years into something I really could no longer stand--due to factors that I will not go into here. It was good for a long while until it wasn't. A blessing thrust upon me by the universe at the perfect moment. 


3. With my job behind me, my world burst open again. I will be taking this next year to fully focus on writing, reading, and ritual--all things that nourish my creativity. My first novel is still on submission which feels surreal and exciting, but also unnerving--as each stage of this process has been. The traditional publishing path, as I've mentioned before, is arduous and long. But for me, it has been a dream, and slowly, step by step, it is happening. My agent is communicative and wonderful and is fully invested in getting my book matched with the right editor / publisher. I thought about putting the second novel aside to focus on the next big thing, but I don't need to do that. I can span my writing life across many projects now. I will not squander this moment but embrace it fully and squeeze as much out of this year as I can. 


4. No longer being confined to place I began to dream about slow travel again. Chiang Mai will still be my homebase as I do have an apartment and life here, but I'll be coming and going with more fluidity. Tuning in to that subtle tug that has pulled me across the world, placing me exactly where I need to be. Next stop: Sulawesi, Indonesia--snorkeling and aliens and ancient rituals. I have a lot of new experiences lined up for this year. This is only the beginning. 


5. Autumn--when the road to everywhere opens and the possibilities feel endless. I welcome all the changes and the darkening of the days. A time of year when the sky becomes clearer and so do I. 


What does autumn represent to you? How do you welcome unexpected change into your  life? Do you embrace it or resist it? 

This post has been more of a check in with myself--where I am and where I'm going. Autumn book recommendations, slow travel and the writing process, and this blog's 10 year anniversary (TEN YEARS!) are in the works. See you all under the darkening sky. 

4 comments:

  1. When Sanne Burger penned these words, she may have been looking in the mirror, but they describe you as though you were her identical twin:

    I can’t stay, mother.
    I love you, but I wasn’t born to please you
    I wasn’t born to make you happy
    or give your life meaning.
    I wasn’t born to rot under your wings
    like an unhatched egg.
    I can’t stay, teacher.
    I wasn’t born to be put into your boxes
    to think along your lines
    or to memorize your facts
    I was born to think independently.
    I can’t stay, my love.
    I wasn’t born to satisfy your needs
    to take care of you
    or to hide in your arms.
    I wasn’t born to make myself smaller
    or to be taken for granted.
    I can’t stay, boss.
    I wasn’t born to make money for others
    I wasn’t born to follow orders
    or to repeat the same day over and over again
    I wasn’t born for boredom.
    I can’t stay, master.
    I wasn’t born to follow your ideas of what truth is
    or to live according to your dogmas.
    I was born to find my own truth
    and make my own rules.
    I was born to meet life full on
    To get lost on Indian trains
    To be seduced by dangerous men
    To meet different faces, places and cultures
    to be out in the jungle all night
    To run with wolves
    To be swept off my feet
    To be taken by storm
    To be heartbroken
    Devastated
    Stunned
    Shocked
    Lost
    Thrown into the deep
    I was born to get my hands dirty
    To get sand in my mouth
    Mud on my clothes
    Thorns under my feet
    I was born to jump into the abyss.
    I was born to meet aliens
    To do rituals
    To be cracked open in ceremony
    To go beyond time and space
    To welcome magic
    To totally lose myself
    I was born to feel everything
    To taste everything
    The bitter taste of sorrow
    The foul taste of deceit
    The sweet taste of love
    I was born to learn how to handle change gracefully
    I was born to know the truth
    to learn how to fly
    I was born to learn how to speak the language of love
    How to unchain my heart
    How to shed everything
    How to let go of all expectations.
    I was born to learn how it feels to lose everything
    except what really matters.
    I was born to live a life that would strip away everything that wasn’t real
    that wasn’t true
    that wasn’t me
    I am a phoenix.
    I am born to spread my wings and fly towards the sun
    To burn up and turn to ashes
    To fall down to earth and rise up again
    When I am old
    I will be proud of my scars
    My wrinkles
    My memories
    My stories
    My wisdom
    My freedom.
    I was born to be free.
    And therefore, I can’t stay.
    Author: Sanne Burger

    -Letitia Vaughan

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  2. Ok Sara so your job at CMU has come to an end. My whole (teaching English in Thai school) came to an end about 8 years ago in CM. I really did want to return to America. However, that ain't gonna happen now unless there is Major change there like we have never experienced and it would rock the planet. I really would like to live in Bangkok for a bit of time as I never have. I don't have that longing for CM as so many do. Humanity now seems to be getting up and out of bed and coming to the realization that every single assassination & war is from them as they continue to own and control America. Trump is nothing more than their poodle. It wouldn't surprise me if they were behind the President A. Lincoln Assassination. Well Sara, I wish you the best and nice to be able to comment again.

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