Wednesday, December 21, 2016

The Karmic Battlefield

One year ago today, I worked my last shift at the job where I had spent the last six years of my life. I stayed late that solstice evening to tie up loose ends, to say some final goodbyes, and then I walked out and walked away without turning around or pausing or shedding a single tear. I was completely numb.

This job wasn't just a job though it started out as just that. Over the years, this job, this small local business morphed into what I can only describe as a karmic battlefield--a battlefield where karmic seeds sprouted vines that would follow me around into every area of my life choking me until all my karmic debt was paid.

It was karma that I needed to repay so I could move forward, so I could be free--free from my karmic ties, free from everything that had held me locked in place. I wasn't particularly unhappy, but I wanted more out of life than the life I had built in Santa Cruz.

It was time to start moving forward, but I hit a very big, thick, opaque wall in every direction I turned, in every move I made--looking for a door that simply wasn't there. Apparently, I had a lot of work to do first. And the Universe decided that I would do all that work at once and very quickly. And when the time is upon you...everything began to align.

Throughout 2012, 2013, and 2014, people and circumstances were put in front of me that challenged me or sometimes were out right shoved at me full force--forcing me into uncomfortable, and at times, dangerous situations, forcing me to make tough decisions, forcing me to learn how to forgive, to grow, to stand up for myself, to become strong, to fight for my survival in more ways than one.

This is not the place to go into those details, but I will say that what I experienced and witnessed over such a short span of time would have at best caused most people to give up or at worst break them. But I did not give up. I did not break. I survived. I walked into 2015 completely numb to the world around me and myself, but I survived. (You can read about many of my survival tools in my Bending Reality post).

And today, I celebrate that survival and freedom by honoring my battlefield and all those people and circumstances who presented themselves over those years, who helped streamline my life to where it is today--to this year of magic and travel and writing.

I now know what freedom feels like, what peace feels like, what it feels like to sleep well, what living without stress and anxiety are like. I now know what it feels like to put my purpose first and let everything else fall into place.

There is this saying: "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

Move into the New Year and through the world with compassion and kindness and no judgement. Your co-worker or neighbor or relative or even your friends could be fighting a battle you know nothing about--or not as much as you think you know. Your kindness just might be enough light to save them.

"Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light." ~Yogi Bhajan

Sat Nam


Alison George said...

You're such a wonderful and compassionate human being, Beara. Happy New Years ❤️

Sarah Seymour said...

Thank you! And so are you :D Happy New Years to you too! I hope Denver has been working out well for you. I can't wait to visit you there at some point :)